Monday, 21 May 2012

18 weeks

I'm waiting for the second trimester glowing stage to kick in... but its not. I'm now 18 weeks and instead of feeling all blooming and radiant I am feeling crappy... all.day.long.
I am not going to bore you with the details - hey, I try not to bore anyone with the details* - but suffice to say I am looking forward to moving beyond the nausea and exhaustion and feeling human again.

This time round things have felt so intense on the physical side that I sometimes forget there will be a baby at the end of it. Its as if all my energy is on trying to keep going and on being with my children and taking care of my home and then in a spare moment I will suddenly spy a baby on a blog or look in my knitting basket at my projects and go "Oh yeah. I'm having a baby!". How amazing!

It is hard to imagine that come the end of October there will be another tiny person in this family. I am so excited, and not at all anxious about how i will pan out, even though i know it won't all be plain sailing. Right now Ezra still seems very young. He talks in telegraphese "Mummy no touch. Ezra do it self!" and though he adores babies (really adores them) he also cheekily says "Mummy baby tummy. Ezra push baby over" and looks to me with a grin for my reaction. In reality he does push some toddlers over or hug to the ground, in a kind of cuddly playful way, but babies he is ever so gentle with. The last one we saw he kissed her toes! He is such a sweet and joyful soul truly. So though I know some things will be hard on him, like sharing Mummy even further, I also know he will be a wonderful big brother. Can that be true... Ezra a big brother?! Its moments like that when I realise how much he is still my baby. But, you know he can still be my baby, for as long as he needs. Having two "babies" is just fine by me.

I'm off to try and drink water before bed and get an early night, but thank you for reading my pregnancy ramblings. Night xx

*apologies to those I have bored (burdened?) with the details which of course include my hubby, children and besties.

7 comments:

  1. Making you feel cruddy is your baby's way of getting you into the right zone to birth them and care for them and slow down and soften....instead of being all go, go, go! So it's all good, and necessary, and perfectly what you need to be going through right now! Even if it does all feel a bit bleugh!!! Lots of love xx

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  2. My pregnancy with Tali was like that; survival mode, and very hard to imagine anything good coming of it. (hugs) And Roo still tells me, "I am still your baby!" Especially when she is sad.

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  3. Oh Laura, I hope you feel on top really soon, there are just so many 'priorities' aren't there? It sounds like you have them in the right order though :) And hey, these little ones (and big ones) will always be our babies! xxx

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  4. ..and I meant to say what a lovely crochet cardie you made, sweet! xx

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  5. We've been away so catching up on your posts, much love to you sweetie, I hope you start feeling better soon. Spirulina smoothies for an energy boost? xx

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  6. Thank you everyone for the lovely comments. I'm getting by and these children of mine bring so much light and laughter it really does make each day lovely, despite feeling so awful! xx

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  7. Laura, sounds like things will be just fine! With Sophie I was still in denial at 40 weeks as life was so busy, labour started, I went to hospital, walked into the delivery suite and then it hit me that I was having a baby, and labour stopped for another week or so!! Hope you start to feel a pregnancy bloom soon

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