Monday, 30 May 2011

Voice of the universal child - Bruce Scott

"I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities....I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life.
Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love

• Include me before making decisions that affect me.

• Do not throw anything away that belongs to me, unless I am asked first.

• Find out what my experience is like with the teachers in school, and believe me. Take action if necessary. Stand up for me too, as a person.

• Talk to me in the same voice you talk to adults with

• Respect my interests even though they may seem just cute to you

• Do not refer to me as a "terrible two" person

• See me as a whole feeling person when I am a teenager. I am more than raging hormones or "just a teenager." I will do the same for you no matter what your age.

• If you are afraid for me, tell me so honestly with your heart.

• Do not punish me ever. Teach me. Hold me. Love me. Trust that I,
just like you, want to do what is right, and don’t want to hurt anyone.

• Help me understand what I don’t know. Don't call me names, or label me or compare me, or make me compete for anything. Help me cooperate and collaborate. Be the example for me.

• Hug me, Kiss me, and Hold me a lot. Be kind with your smile. It’s all ok.

• If you are upset with something in your life, know when you are upset. Don't be angry with me or blame me, or judge me. If you want me to know something and hear you, notice your voice and angry or judgmental thoughts before you give them to me. I, like you, do not feel good when I am admonished, made wrong or blamed. It just doesn't feel good. I want to hear and understand you. I like being connected.

• If you feel embarrassed by something I am doing, hug me. Come closer. I am being myself completely. If I need to be more aware of others, I want to know that. I can hear your kind voice remind me.

• When you are with me, be completely with me. If you are in your thoughts, pretending to be with me, then you are not with me at all.

• Treat me exactly like you would want me to treat you. Exactly.

• Assume that I “see” everything. I am exquisitely sensitive and can feel pretense, falseness, and hidden agendas. I can also feel love.

• Know when you are sarcastic. Sarcasm is mean and creates distance, hurt and separates us, almost without noticing. Humor brings us together.

• If I am fidgety, seem bored, have difficulty sitting still, talk too much, appear to have a short attention span, please join with me. Ask me, with an attitude of wonder, what my experience is in the classroom, or wherever I appear to not want to be. I am not ADD or ADHD, or any diagnosis. I simply want to be where there is life, movement and creativity happening. (ask me what I mean by all this). Together, we’ll find understanding.

When it looks like I am having, what you call a tantrum, it is all I know to do
to make contact, to be heard, to be taken seriously, to be held.

• I am naturally creative. Notice how I make things out of leaves, or sticks, or bubbles, or crayons. Notice how I like to climb and explore, and discover everything all at once. Listen to my imagination at work. That's not just kid stuff. That is what you might do too if you would join with me.

• Sometimes, I know what to do without reading written instructions. I don't have words for it, I just know. I have the ability to see how things go together. I may do things differently than the way you learned. That's ok. Both ways may work. And anyway, I have fun finding my own way. The destination don't matter that much.

• I may take longer than you completing something. That is because I am in no hurry to get anything done. I haven't learned yet that hurrying, being busy and always anxious, are fun.

• I do not need you to always say Yes to me. Actually, yes or no don't matter. What matters is how you hold me in your heart, how you see me, and your appreciation for me. 'Cause when you appreciate me, and see through my eyes too, a yes or no will always be the right thing for both of us.

• I do not need you to be with me. I need you to be with yourself. When you are with yourself, you are with me.

• No matter how old I am, three years old, sixteen, or forty-five, I am not intending to deceive you, take advantage of you, use you or disrespect you. If you have those thoughts or the belief that I am "asking too much," that is not my intent. I am really, searching out ways to make contact, and to be with you, to acknowledge my presence.

• When I cry, I am feeling. Crying can be like sneezing, feeling close to you, singing or running. It is just my body expressing itself. I might have been sad, or hurt or afraid. When I am feeling in my body, I am relieved. All you need do is be present with me so that I know you are there, but not trying to stop me or make me feel better.

• I am wise. I know things. I see things. I know naturally what I need to know. I believe and trust myself and my intuition. Unless I learn to not trust myself. I have to be taught from the outside to not believe the truth of things.

• I sometimes feel safe in the world. Sometimes I don't. If I feel or sense something, and others don't, (maybe even make fun of me), I get even more scared. I can feel so alone and wrong. It helps when you take me seriously, regardless of my age, and ask me more questions about what I “see,” feel or sense. I might be seeing something you need to know.

• I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities. I am not, by accident in your life. Incredible or unbelievable as this may sound, I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life. Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love.

Be yourself, and if you don’t know for sure, what yourself is, ask me. (Bruce Scott)

Monday, 23 May 2011

Thinking about...

  • articles I want to write. Words forming in my head whilst feeding my babe to sleep but no time to write them down, yet.,
  • knitting a tiny hat for a new baby born to a lovely family. Welcome earthside little one.
  • Nurtured Family: Nurtured Earth... and getting so excited!
  • how i keep getting my dates muddled up (time is going too quickly) and forgot three whole birthdays! I'm so sorry to my lovely friends and family. No indication at all of our feelings - just of our lack of time and my mental disorganisation right now.
  • how to repair the rip in our lovely bell tent! :( High winds caused some damage. Any thoughts anyone?
  • a great weekend we just had with our lovely friends Tommy and Roz, and how much fun the children had playing with them.
  • choosing a new front door.
  • where to send my iphone to be fixed. Think that one is sorted thanks to my very efficient and thorough father in law. Thank you Jon! - update: sending it off tomorrow. Yay!
  • The Mother Camp. Woooooohoooo!
  • when we will manage to paint our new lounge.
  • what to do with my hair! Dreads? A new cut? What do you think?
  • how much i am loving decluttering and how great our art shelves are looking this evening.
  • the lovely paper flowers dangling from the kitchen archway that Phoebe and I made.
  • being in the garden, in the sunshine.
  • redbush chai tea.
  • seeing lovely friends this week.
  • loving this life!

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Introducing...

I don't normally 'advertise' products on here but I am really excited to announce that one of my absolute favourite families have just launched a new business! And not just any new business but something that fellow mama bloggers might be interested in. Introducing... Barefoot Birth Pools!



Shona is a very good friend of mine and is running the business alongside her husband Jez. They are a local unschooling family and Shona has done a lot for us locally, setting up Natural Parenting Club and Peterborough Homebirth Group. If you are nearby you can see the services Shona offers here (including natal hypnotherapy, baby reflex and doula services).

She also has another business selling all kinds of lovely things for families at http://www.barefootlife.co.uk/. The website is just about to be relaunched but includes things such as onya products, little green radicals clothing, barefoot books, and soon Grimm's wooden toys. :) Lovely stuff.

I am looking forward to using one of their pools in future. We barely had enough time to inflate and fill our birthpool-in-a-box for Ezra's birth and it took all of Russ' attention to do it. It will be nice to not have to worry about all of that and have a bit of luxury with one of these beautiful pools next time. :)

Congratulations Shona and Jez on the launch of Barefoot Birth Pools! xxx

This Week...

Ezra is loving:

the lawnmower - his most favourite thing in the world. It doesn't need to be on. But he needs to be near it several times a day. Several times an hour in fact! And we need to push it around at his request.

swinging next to his sister.

hugging.
drinking yoghurt drinks.

feeding the dollies.

kicking. Balls usually but also towers, fences, anything that doesn't object too loudly.

airplanes.

birds.
next door's cat. sadly, it doesn't love being cuddled so I have to ensure we keep a safe distance.

sand and water.
being naked.


Phoebe is loving:
hooping.

swinging as high as she can and jumping off.

climbing the rope swing and rope ladder.

playing with the children next door.

playing with sand and water to make "sloppy woppy".

going to sleep listening to Daddy read stories.

Calamity Jane.

singing, all the time.

asking questions, such as "are clouds really fluffy?" (she thinks that when you get close and touch them they feel wet).

talking to our neighbours.


Russ is loving:

being with our children.
scrum (its a work thing!)

listening to Laura Marling.

painting our new lounge.
reading Phoebe to sleep.

looking forward to planting potatoes.


Laura is loving:

the space in our new lounge sans wall.

being outside in the sun and barefoot.

watching all the play and fun the children are having.
Phoebe's new found confidence.

Ezra kisses.

dreaming of simplifying and decluttering... and selling everything to go travel the world in a veggie fuelled rv or live in a yurt. Ok, so the second part won't happen but i am happy dreaming. :)

the challenge of being more frugal.
catching up on a few blogs and being inspired.

using our 'posh' camera again.
imagining our new simplified, light and airy home.


I have missed blogging. Hope to post some pictures soon and will pop over to see what bloggy friends are up to. :)